So I have taken up reading novels again.  I enjoy reading but the last couple of years my mind wouldn't allow me to settle in on the words that were on the page.  Stress does that to you.  Your mind gets stuck in that stress world and it won't leave. 
I'm trying to get myself out of that world and now reading books again.  Trying to pour myself into the world that is in the story of the books I read.  Mostly fictional books so that I can be in a place imaginary and take my mind to other places besides where I am.
Surprising myself I am now on my third book after only one month.  I say surprisingly because I have very little "private-quiet" time to read.  My husband being retired is home most of the time and enjoys sharing his thoughts and interests with me throughout the day.  I take care of my grandsons four days a week and sometimes other grandchildren on weekends.  We attend most if not all of the grand kids activities such as baseball, soccer, theater, band, basketball, dance......and whatever else may pop up on the calendar.   That along with the daily activities of housework, cooking, shopping, dog walking and oh yeah.....sleeping.. there is little time for reading!
So I've found a way to squeeze it in from time to time.....one way I've done this is to leave a few minutes early to pick up the grandsons from school.  I find myself a parking spot as close as I'm able to by the school and then sit in my car and read until the bell rings.  A nice quiet car all by myself has become my secret get-a-way!
So now I'm going to keep track of my reading.  I am finding that keeping track of these things such as my walking/exercising and now reading books helps me to keep focused on the FACT that I NEED to somehow put a few minutes of time each week for ME. 
Not having ME time makes me a grumpy unhappy person and also becomes unhealthy.  We all need me time.  Women / moms/ grandmas tend to push our me time out the window as we become focused on taking care of everyone elses needs.  Yet if we don't take care of ourselves we become worn out and depressed and the joy of taking care of others becomes a chore and that is not a good thing for anyone.
SO, with all that said I have posted on my sidebar a link to "shelfari"  which is where I will be adding my books as I read them.  Check it out as it is an easy website to use.

It is just not fair how your mind tells you to do things or gives you this desire to do things and your body decides to create aches and pains and lack of ability to do those things!
I'm 61 years old and have arthritis and my mind says I'm still in my 20's and is filled with creative ideas for projects and activities but my body aches and hurts and slows me down. 
One of the many blessings of having a cute hyper dog is that he urges me to get up and dressed and out the door for walks.  I have to thank him for that!   I've applied the app to my iPhone that keeps track of these walks & activities and giving myself a goal to walk at least three times a week plus other exercises.   This app. is also streamed into my computer so it's right there........right there on my screen to stare me in the face telling me that I have to do it!  
I guess there are benefits to these high maintenance confusing technical gadgets after all.

I think I last posted a year ago that 2011 was a stressful year.  Well,  2012 has been even more so.  With so much stress and needs in life it's hard to sit and type so there have been no posts.

 After a death in the family,  a crazed now ex-relative trying to cause problems,  an elderly sweet relative developing Alzheimer's,  and financial doom still looming over us daily.........we are alive and surviving.  
The fact that we are still surviving,,, that our marriage is still loving... that we still have a home to live in and food on our table...that we still have our children and beautiful grandchildren close by us......and our hyper curly haired loyal 11 year old dog is still looking at me with those sweet begging eyes, tells me that God still has his hands on our shoulders guiding us and leading us towards the goal he has planned for us.

So now even though all these things are still true in our lives and it is going to definitely be a financial struggle as well as a bitter sweet stress of knowing that our elderly loved ones will not get better,  it is obvious that there is a higher strength that carries us through these dark tunnels and that there is a light at the other end.  We just don't know how long that tunnel may be so we just have to trust the guide as he leads us through.

I can say this- it is with a clean slate that we approach the new year.  All has been laid on the table and the one thing that is stronger than all the stress on this earth we live in is our family.  We love each other and will hold onto each other to the end.

Maybe the number "13" is my lucky number and this next year I will be posting of daily joys and laughter.

Wow,
It's been almost a full year since I've written anything on here.

2011 was a very stressful year. Several issues going on. There are members of the family who were diagnosed with a terminal illness. That alone caused a lot of strain on everyone.
It seemed to be a roller coaster ride of ups and downs emotionally, physically and spiritually.

I must hang on to the blessings though and I have several. My five grandchildren keep me focused on what is true and what is beautiful in this life...........plus they keep me extremely busy!

So with this new year beginning I choose to;
go forward and keep my eyes on the blessings that are in my life;
ask God to direct my daily path and keep my mind focused on what is right;
remember that I have only one earthly body and to treat it with care and respect;
and to show my loved ones that they are much loved.

Get Up and Go

I'd like to know where my get up and go went to?

On days like today when I don't have my grandsons to take care of and I don't have any appointments to take care of I seem to convince myself that it's ok to just be a blob.

Yes it's alright to take a day and just veg. It's alright to relax and rest your body and mind.

However, I still have a list of things that need to be done............such as preparing papers in order to do taxes! That is something that just can't be put off for very long!
I just don't want to do it! I just want to lie around like a big blob of blob and do nothing!
Yet if I do that, lie around all day, then tomorrow when my busy schedule starts all over again I will be kicking my big butt for not getting things done on my "day off" knowing that I will now have to wait until my next chance to get those needed things done.

It's an ongoing cycle that somehow circles around and ends up staring you right in the face.

SO, I will now get up off my big blob butt and do something.

"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls".

Matthew 11: 29

Lately, whenever I feel the stress of life starting to weigh me down I repeat this verse in my mind and it gives me a sense of peace.

Time to reorganize!

So I went to the office supply store yesterday and bought this handy dandy organizer!

All of these individual boxes & containers are what I WAS using on the table next to my desk. It was a constant mess and confusing.

I can't stand to work in a space that is so unorganized while trying to figure out where I had put things or where I should put things!


Now this is more like it!
EVERYTHING that I had in all of those separate containers is now in the one organizer or in the hanging pockets!

A new Year.....New beginning

Goodness! It's been a long time since I've written anything on here!

You might think that either I've had absolutely nothing to do or that I've been so busy I've had no time.
The latter is more like it.

Seems I'm always busy with life.

I'm busy selling Avon....or trying to.
I'm busy being a homemaker.
I'm busy being a wife.
I'm busy being a grandma.
I'm busy being just whatever each day brings.

There seems to be very little time left over for any little things that I might want to do just for me!

BUT, life is what it is. The grand kids won't be young forever and each time any one of them gives me a hug then I am reminded that all my wishes have been granted.

So this year I am going with the motto "There is always, always, always something to be thankful for".
I am going to be VERY THANKFUL for the MANY BLESSINGS that I have in my life and also try each week to do one tiny little thing that I want to do.....just for me, even if it's just sitting here at this laptop tying some crazy thoughts that go through my old brain!

The in-between stage?

I have a birthday in about 8 days. I won't say how old I'll be but , well in a very few short years I'll qualify for social security benefits.

Today I went shopping at a clothing store. I have a couple of occasions approaching that I need to have something decent to wear.
Looking in my closet this morning all I see are Levi's, t-shirts, flip flops and tennis shoes. Oh lets not forget those comfy sweat pants!
This is my life.
This is my "style" - the laid back comfy style of I never go anywhere or do anything special life style.
So when something comes up once in a blue moon , such as a friends wedding, I then realize I have nothing to wear.

All I had in mind to buy was a pair of black slacks and some sort of nice top. Then also needed a pair of comfy decent shoes.
all I have to say is "UGH".

My mind says that I'm a young active girl who likes to be in current style of some sort.......BUT also wants to be comfortable.........AND doesn't want to look like an older person who's trying to look young ...but doesn't.
Ya know, those people we see out there who are obviously OLDer yet insist on wearing clothes that belong on my granddaughter! That is what I do not ever want to look like!
However......I also do not want to look like I'm 20 years older than I am! I don't do the plaid elastic waist polyester pants with the gauze type flowered button blouse , ankle socks and slip on canvas shoes.

YET, as I'm browsing around this nice big clothing store I realize that there is no in between!

So what am I? I don't fit into either category! All the clothing on the racks are the styles for the younger or the older! So again..........UGH.

In desperation I begin grabbing things as I walk by the racks and throwing them into the cart. I figure I'll just try on as many things as possible and maybe something will meet the in-between stage that I'm in.

As I'm trying on clothes I begin to wonder am I really in that in-between stage or am I just fooling myself into thinking I'm younger than I really am?
The discoloration of the skin on my chest as I'm trying on this blouse makes me wonder...........and the wrinkled sagging skin hanging down from my arms by the armpits as I'm trying on this sleeveless top makes me cringe!
The roll of .......whatever that is around my waist makes these pants look disgusting!
And what about the horrible colors and designs on every rank in the store! I look like a circus clown that threw up!

The pile of "nope not that" is getting bigger and the pile of "maybe a possibility" is very small.

Finally, after feeling like I've been in this store for about three weeks I give in. I settle on some black slacks that seem to fit well enough that I can sit down and not loose my last meal. I pick one top that is indeed sleeveless but I like it and it's comfortable. I decide that since the top is sleeveless I'll allow myself to buy the sweater to wear also. I did find some very comfy flat shoes and I have to giggle because the style is a "MaryJane" style which is the same style that I wore in high school! They were the most comfortable of all the shoes I tried on and comfort comes first for me now.

So there it is. Black slacks. Sleeveless top that is black with pretty blue swirls on it. A mid-length black wrap around sweater and some comfy black shoes.
Yes the dominate color is black. There was pretty much no other choice. Everything in the store is now the "fall/winter" style and the colors are all dark and dreary. I'll have to search through my jewelry to see what I can use to lighten it up some.
At least the wedding I'm going to is next month and I guess that October will be alright for dark and dreary! ha!

Besides, I'll be sitting in the back of the room anyway staring at the wrinkles on my hands and my MaryJane shoes!

and so it begins.......

Well it was a nice summer. Must of had fun because they say that time flies when your having fun and it sure seemed to go by fast!
I had plans of all sorts of things to do with the grand kids during the summer and didn't quite get through that list!

We did spend a few days at the beautiful bay. I could just move there! LOVE it there! It's the one place that we can go with or without the kids and just sit back and enjoy God's beautiful creations

We went to the zoo at least three times. The museums. The science center. Played baseball and tennis at the park. Used the swimming pool several times. Played the Wii numerous times.
We had sleep overs , treasure hunts, spy games and built forts.

All in all it was a good summer.

Now tomorrow school begins and so begins a whole different schedule. Things are changing. As of right now I'll be taking Conner to preschool two mornings a week and picking up Kyle from school four days a week. However, Vanessa doesn't know if she will be one of the chosen to be laid off as her company is now downsizing.
It's soccer season so there are practices and games that I will be going to and helping with the transportation.
Baseball season is almost over so Jim will be home more.
Ryan will be starting a brand new school this year.
Nathan and Sarah will be home schooled without their older brother for the first time.

Yep, it's all changing. But then life is all about changing right?

A Day Off

I watch my grandsons Tuesday through Friday. I'm busy on weekends. So on Mondays when I see people who know that I watch my grandsons they say to me " enjoy your day off".

So today, which is Monday, I :

got up at 6:30am.
watered yard
got a cup of coffee and banana
drove dog to the groomers
drove to the post office
drove to Target store
got my hair trimmed
came home and ate lunch
started laundry
got online and prepared package label for returning Avon item.
put one load in dryer and another in washer
baked two sheets of dog treats
folded one load of laundry and put another in dryer
worked on a "treasure hunt " game that the kids have been begging me to do
drove to the UPS office and dropped off the Avon package
stopped at a store to find a dog bed
drove to the groomers to pick up the dog
brought dog home
made a smoothie for Jim and I
cleaned up kitchen
began preparing stuff needed to go to the bay tomorrow with the kids.......this included,
making sandwiches, cutting up carrot & celery sticks, packing towels and sand toys, putting chairs and umbrella in trunk, putting bottles of water in refrigerator to get cold.
Pulled out the crock pot to use in morning to prepare spaghetti sauce so we can have spaghetti when we get home from the bay.
cleaned up kitchen
came in this office and began to put away all the Avon paperwork that I had thought I was going to organize today but since it's late it can wait.
Took a shower.
It's now 9pm.............oh yeah, there's still a load of laundry in the dryer needing to be folded!

I can't wait to go to the bay tomorrow and relax and have a nice day off!

Beach Bump

So we decided that we'd take our dog to dogs beach on Saturday. It's a beautiful beach area and on one side of the pier they allow dogs to run free without leashes.

The dogs are like a bunch of little kids in a playground. It's so fun to watch them. They never fight. Some like to just walk and relax. Some like to jump in the water and ride the waves.

Pepper just loves it. He romps around with a smile on his face wagging his tail and greeting all the other dogs.

Jim and I like to watch Pepper and the other dogs and we also just like the ocean air and relaxing walk................

But there are also dogs who love to run as fast as they possibly can after their play toys. Those play toys are the most important thing on their minds at the time and nothing,,,,,,,,,,,,,nothing better get in their way...............

and that includes little old ladies like me! As a dog came running through us so fast I can't even tell you what type of dog it was it caught the side of my leg/hip and being on the sand I lost my balance and went tumbling down!

So with a large lump on the front/side of my right leg and sore muscles all the way from my hip to my toes I will from now on have eyes in the back of my head as I take my relaxing walks along the beach!

oh, and no I do not wear a red dress with heels to walk on the beach :)

Drained or not?

Why is it that some days I feel like I've been bitten by a vampire during the night and all sources of energy have been drained out of me and then other days I feel just fine?
Doesn't seem to matter what I eat or do the day before or how much sleep I get.

For the last several days all I've wanted to do but couldn't do was sleep. I just wanted to lie on the couch in front of the TV and veg out.

This morning I woke up at 6am. Just woke right up without the alarm and was wide awake.
Today I've done two loads of laundry, broiled steak, baked homemade dog treats, cleaned the kitchen- twice, drove to the vacum repair shop and dropped off my vacum, brushed the dog, drove to pick up my vacum.........and I'm still wide awake!
I want to feel like this every day but Murphys Law -- tomorrow when the two boys get here I'll feel drained again before the day even starts!

Just don't go

Ya know, I think it would be easier if we just stayed home all the time and sat out in the back yard and listened to the birds and the wind chimes........ahhhh.

But life just isn't so simple.

Going to get an oil change in your car is like going to the dentist. Why is that?

I don't like going to the dentist. First of all , it hurts. Second of all it hurts worse after I go than it did before I went! I go for a routine cleaning and come out with sore gums and an appointment for all the extra work they say I need done.
Well that is how it is with the car.

I go in for a routine oil change and waa-laa, they tell me my rear brakes are in need of replacing.
Now maybe some things I can put off till the last minute but the brakes! ?? I don't think so.
So now I need to figure out when I can go back to sit for an hour or so and get the brakes fixed and in the meantime grow a money tree to pay for this extra expense I didn't plan on.

And to add to this wonderful gifts of life that we are given our refrigerator/freezer has decided to leak water onto the floor. Seems that it thinks it needs to create a frozen lake at the bottom of the freezer which as the water runs down onto this frozen lake it slides over the ice and out the door onto the floor.
As of right now there is a dish towel on the bottom of the freezer which is soaking up the water so that it doesn't flood the floor until the repair man comes to our house tomorrow. Can't wait to see his expression when he see's this frozen towel!
And of course until he shows up I have no idea how much that is going to cost.

They say when it rains it pours..............well I live in sunny California and it's not suppose to rain here!
Not having much luck growing that money tree either!

Wasting Time?

So what does it mean exactly to "waste time" ?

There is never enough time it seems. Yet time has never changed over the years. There is and always has been 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week since I was born ( many years ago ), so why does it seem that the older I get the faster time goes ?

How does one waste time?

I always, ALWAYS, have things I need to do. I'm a list maker. I have a list about 2 miles long of things that I could, should or would do "if I had enough time".

But really, how does a person actually waste time?

Is it really wasting time if you sit and do nothing? Are you really doing nothing?
You breath. You think. ..........gosh, my mind never seems to shut down. If I'm "doing nothing" and sitting still for five minutes my mind is constantly thinking of all the things that I should get up to do!
So how can one do nothing? Is that actually possible?

If I decide to type on this blog am I wasting time because I'm not finishing the laundry or making a grocery list?
If I decide to take a nap ( which is rarely done ) am I wasting time? My body is refreshing itself. My muscles are recuperating from the busy workout with the grand kids. My health is healing itself. So how can lying still and relaxing become "wasting time" ? Shouldn't we allow ourselves to relax once in awhile?

Don't we all just need to give in and give it all up once in a while? Forget about all the hubbub of the day, the stress, the long list of to-do's?
Can I actually do that?

Maybe instead of calling it "wasting time" we should say we are making a choice to accomplish something else. Maybe I should put that on my to-do list. #52 - accomplish something different today.

Accomplishing something..............hummmm, that is a whole different subject. I'll have to wait until I have more "time" to write about that!

Avon

I've begun a new venture. I'm now an Avon Sales Representative!
www.youravon.com/msebastian0230

For quite some time I've tried to think of a way to make a little extra cash while being a wife, grandma, caregiver, homemaker and whatever else I need to be.
Trying to do something that I can do from home and that doesn't require driving around to do home parties or too much "extra" work was a hard thing to find.

I've played with the idea of Avon for a while. I resisted because I am not one to wear much makeup and I'm allergic to most perfumes. I didn't want to try to sell something that I could not use myself.

Well, I did some research. I began looking on the Avon website and noticed that the company has expanded quite a bit since I had last looked! They have everything now! Not only makeup and perfume but great skin care products, body care products, jewelry, clothes, shoes, purses, watches, and more!
Then I also noticed that they support raising funds for breast cancer research, domestic violence, and women who need support. They are very strong in helping women to be strong!

So I took a leap of faith and I contacted the local representative. She came to my home and I signed up!

Now here's the real news! I barely had time to look at my start up kit and had my first orders! I have been very blessed to have great friends and family that have helped me get started in my new business.
I am amazed at how easy it is to sell! Women everywhere know and love Avon! I give my website, catalog or business card to a person I know and the next thing I know I have people I don't know ordering from me!

I am now on my third campaign. There is a new campaign every two weeks so I've been a representative for one month.
I want to have orders each and every campaign. That is my goal. When the new one started today I begin to wonder who I can approach for an order. What should I do now!
Then I'm blessed with a phone call this morning from a friend that I had left my catalog with. She's a hairdresser and one of her customers wants to order $50 worth of products!

I'm now using the skin care products and a little bit of makeup and loving the way it makes me feel!

So if your looking for great products to use for yourself or as a gift........everything and anything from deodorant to jewelry check out my website! Or if your looking for a part time job with a great company contact me!
www.youravon.com/msebastian0230

Quakes, Avon, kids and weather.............seems I just haven't had any time to sit and write much lately.
I haven't been looking at recipes either to use for my recipe blog. Been just throwing things in the pan and when it's done we eat!

We've had SEVERAL earthquakes starting with the big 7.2 on Easter Sunday. Still having them as of today. So far our home has held up well and we are all in one piece. Feel bad for those who live further south and getting the worst of it though.

I signed up as an Avon representative. I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment because I haven't had the time to get a feeling of organization yet. I am going to try to spend the next two days doing some filing and organizing. I plan to put an ad in the local newsletter that goes around this mobile home park on the first of May and want to be ready in case it gets some attention!
I am pleased though that I'm in the second campaign already and even though I've felt very unorganized somehow have managed to get over $100 in orders each time!
I inherited this beautiful old roll top desk from my mother-in-law and using it for my office space in a little corner of my front room. I can even close my office by rolling it down!

With school in spring break the last two weeks I've been extra busy with both boys here most of the days. Took them to the zoo this week and kept busy figuring out things for them to do all day.

Weather has been just weird. Rain, sun, wind, it changes every few days. Which is making my sinuses and my arthritis do a dance that I don't like!

Baseball season has started. Jim is going back to work as an usher beginning on Monday.

SO, with school starting , Jim working, some time to get Avon organized.......maybe the quakes will quiet down and all will be at peace again!

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Lost or Found?

So what would you do if you were walking through a parking lot with no one else around and there on the ground in front of you is a folded up $20 bill? -

You know it's not yours. It did not fall out of your pocket or purse. There is no one walking in front of you that dropped it. There is no one within close enough range to yell to and ask if they just dropped it. In fact there is no one around at all. -

Do you feel lucky that you found it? -
Do you feel guilty that you are standing there with money that belongs to someone else?

Today is full of tough times. People need that extra $20 to buy milk & lunch meat for the week or to put gas in their car to get to work. -
Yet as you stand there with this now unfolded money you look around you as you spin around in circles to see if there is anyone in close range that may have dropped it......and there is no one. -

What do you do? What do you think? What do you do? Does it depend on the situation of the day? Does it depend on the location? How does one go about finding the rightful owner? -

Realistically if you take that money to lost & found what do you think will happen to it? Is there a lost and found bucket full of lost bills of numerous denominations that hasn't been claimed yet? Or is there a person who works at the lost & found who is now approaching the status of millionaire with all the lost and found money that has been given to them? Would a person walk up to a lost and found and simply ask "hey, has anyone turned in a twenty dollar bill today?". Do you get on the loud speaker and announce that you found money in the parking lot and see if anyone comes to claim it?

Well, I don't know what you would do but in a parking lot full of vehicles and absolutely no one around to claim or ask it was decided that it was a nice day to go out to lunch. :)
-

Spent my day today on the couch with plenty to drink, the TV remote, a book to read and a supply of Kleenex.
The head cold bug seems to have bitten me. Since I had a day with no plans made it was the perfect opportunity to rest and recover.

Hopefully no one else will be sick and I will be over the worst of it by tomorrow morning.